Pro Darts Is Back, But Legions of Beer-Swilling Fans Must Wait

The first thing I saw as I walked up to the Motorpoint Arena in Nottingham, England, was an angry old man having his packet of Sainsbury’s Butter Mintoes confiscated by security. The first thing I heard was a woman shouting, “Oh, f--- off, Lucy.” It was February 2020. Inside were Waldos and Oompa-Loompas and jungle explorers and pageant queens and lederhosen guys and old-timey jockeys. There were hula hoop lads and men in full-body orange safety cones and a few dudes who looked like they maybe saw a movie about Hawaii once and have always wanted to go. There was a young woman dressed as an old woman of the lives-in-a-shoe variety, who fully committed to the bit by clutching her back and shuffling every time she went to get a pint. All that’s required to fit in at a darts tournament, really, is to dress up as … anything.

What was very important was the drinking. Darts is a surprisingly good spectator sport because everyone’s in the same boat: half-pissed, looking at close-ups on giant screens of the dartboard. (It’s far too small for anyone to see what’s happening on it.) Barry Hearn, chairman of the Professional Darts Corp., says, “It’s the only sport in the world that’s not visible to the naked eye! You have no idea what’s going on! You tip a beer in your ear while watching the screen. It’s a great life!” The PDC claims that at darts’ World Championship, fans average almost five 20-ounce pints per person per day. The tournament lasts a little more than two weeks.