Online, Motherhood Is a Test No One Can Pass
Between rising costs, vanishing support systems and nonstop scrutiny, parenthood, as Ej Dickson describes in One Bad Mother, has started to feel less like a choice than a trap.
Illustration by Gracey Zhang
Perhaps the easiest way to start an argument online is to post a video of a mother raising her child. Within minutes, strangers will debate in the comments whether she is attentive enough, strict enough, patient enough or present enough, with some calling her irresponsible and others saying she’s controlling. Online and offline, motherhood has started to resemble a real-life Truman Show — a performance carried out under constant observation, where strangers across the country appoint themselves judge and jury.
As an older member of Generation Z, I’ve grown up scrolling past these character dissections and debates. Somewhere between the arguments about gentle parenting and working mothers, a quiet doubt began weighing on me: Do I even want to become a parent? Why step into a role where the standards seem impossible to meet?