We’re All Just ‘Monitoring the Situation’

Look, there’s a lot going on right now. Listing all of it makes me sound as if I’m workshopping a remake of that Billy Joel song: The US and Israel are bombing Iran, while Israel is also bombing southern Lebanon, displacing nearly a million people. Iran has retaliated with missile and drone strikes on Israel, Bahrain, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and the United Arab Emirates. The Strait of Hormuz is functionally closed. The US might send in ground troops to capture Kharg Island, a place that everyone reading this definitely knew about a month ago. Traditional American allies keep telling President Donald Trump to kick rocks. Oil prices are up, which means so are gasoline prices. Cuba’s power grid has collapsed. Tariff drama! The Epstein files! ICE raids! The stock market goes on Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride every time a spooky PDF about artificial intelligence makes the rounds in the group chats. Don’t get me started on what’s going on with private credit. People keep comparing more economic indicators to 2008, which seems bad.

But, of course, you probably knew all that, plus all the other things omitted for brevity’s sake. You’re monitoring the situation, right?