If You Thought the McGregor Fight Was a Disaster, His Whiskey Is Worse

Three days before Conor McGregor stepped into the octagon to face undefeated UFC lightweight champion Khabib Nurmagomedov, a solitary bottle of single malt whisky, a 60-year-old Macallan, sold at Bonham’s auction house in Scotland for a record-breaking $1.1 million sum.

McGregor, returning to the octagon for the first time in two years, unfortunately discovered, along with millions of UFC fans, that his athletic talents had not quite evolved much in the fashion of that million-dollar Macallan—or of even such lesser fare as, say, celebrity spirits: Marilyn Manson’s Mansinthe for example, or George Clooney’s $1 billion Casamigos Tequila, Danny Devito’s Limoncello, Dan Akroyd’s Crystal Head Vodka, Ryan Reynolds’ Aviation Gin, Matthew McConaughey’s Longbranch Bourbon, Bob Dylan’s Heaven’s Door Whiskey, my fellow Canadian countryman Drake and his Virginia Black American Whiskey, or even Justin Timberlake’s Sauza 901 Tequila.