Critic

Fancy Water Bottles Aren’t Worth the Money, But They May Change Your Life

Our critic tests several of the top offerings from the multibillion-dollar reusable water bottle market and finds an existential truth.

Luxury water bottles, from left: Hydro Flask, S’well, Klean Kanteen, Bkr. 

Source: Vendors

The baby pink Bkr water bottle I was carrying was covered in rubber spikes, not unlike an adorable mace.

It wasn’t particularly easy to drink out of, and it didn’t fit in cup holders. But when it came to social signaling, it felt as if I were suddenly armed with a powerful weapon. With it, I’d pushed my way into the club of chic spin class girls, who wore luxury spandex and inexplicably didn’t sweat.