The Two-Day, $5,000 C-Suite Physical

Executive health programs are convenient for execs, and great for hospitals’ balance sheets.

I am in good health. I am out of shape.

These two facts—one I hoped to be true, and one I absolutely knew to be true—were delivered to me at the end of a thorough two-day medical exam in early November at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. I underwent this battery of tests not because I was at risk for any major illness, nor because I’m a hypochondriac (I mean, no more of one than any unfit 42-year-old man has a right to be), but because the renowned medical center offers something called the Executive Health Program, which sounded exceedingly fancy.