Amid Layoffs, a Financial Analyst's Survivor's Guilt

Sept. 18, 2008: Layoffs mount: 432,000 jobs are lost in the U.S. during September alone

I was one of the lucky ones. Unlike the investment banks, hedge funds like Dune Capital Management, where I’d gone to work as an analyst, didn’t originate or package mortgage-backed assets, so when subprime went south, I didn’t immediately fear for my job. But I did fear my in-box. It flooded with goodbye e-mails from friends and former colleagues. “I’m attaching my personal contact information—please keep in touch.” Each one added to my guilt. Because I still had a job. Because there was no good reason it should have been a friend and not me. Because I’d made up my mind to leave Wall Street, only now I was afraid to follow through. It’s harder to walk away when you know there won’t be a job to go back to.