Office Etiquette: The Farewell E-Mail

Though words will surely fail to capture the entire [sic] of a man’s thoughts and emotions at the moment he sheds an old skin and prepares for the adventure that awaits, he is resolute that they will offer some glimpse into his mind and heart, as he recounts the memories in vivid definition and as he considers the connections, like ribbons of great light, that fasten him to you. —An associate at New York law firm Milbank, Tweed, Hadley & McCloy

The three most dreaded e-mail subject lines in corporate America are, in no particular order: 1) “HR Needs to See You”; 2) “July 3 is NOT a Vacation Day”; and 3) “It’s been real!” More than 2 million people quit their jobs every month, according to the U.S. Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics. Which means that each year, 24 million goodbye e-mails are sent to cringing co-workers. That’s not counting the fired and laid-off and retiring. And the interns, who refuse to be left out of all that CCing.